Thoughts

 I have, in the past three years, experienced many types of lives and beliefs.   I have been a pessimist, an optimist, a realist, a sexist, a humanitarian, a spiritual guide, and an innocent.  My relationships with men have taught me in these three years to mistrust, to love, to succumb, to fight, to define,  to let go and to trust again. 

I was in a relationship where from all outward appearances, we were the perfect couple, and were told so often, but there was no true communication or communion. Which left me knowing I was worthy, but not willing to settle for less than passion.

 I was in a relationship where from all outward appearances we could not communicate and were constantly at war with eachother, but behind closed doors, there was no separation between minds or bodies. Which left me believing that no matter how much I surrendered to a man, it would not be enough to keep me by his side. And that if there is to be any pleasure there must be pain. 

But in the past three months, when I was flitting through people's lives like a butterfly among a field, I met so many wonderful men that have begun to change my mind about the relationships that are possible for me with men through conversation and interaction and observation of them with other women and with me, and they have set off a chain of thoughts that are leading me to a conclusion that forgives and forgets and wishes the best to all men and women.  Leading me to a conclusion that pain does not always coincide with love among other things.

The truth is that there are men who treat women the same whether she is a hooker on the street, or their own mothers.  Some of those men treat all women bad, and some of them treat all women better than even the woman imagined she could be treated.  There are more of the latter out there than you think.

The bottom line is that the true measure of a man is how he treats those people around him in those situations when he is not at his best and perhaps, in situations where the most moral reaction is not beneficial to that man.  When the doors are locked and no one is there to see who he is

After 40 days and 40 nights in the desert, Jesus didnt find the first person he could and kill them and eat them for sustainance (as an extreme example) nor did he steal bread or money or even water.  Nor did he take the first woman he could find to satisfy his lust.  Because instead of seeing people as a means to end his suffering, he saw people as full and valid entities that had every right to be treated the same as he would treat himself.  He saw people as an end in themselves.  A persons very existance being meaning enough for them to recieve the utmost of his respect and love.

Boundaries are not just so that you can know which line to toe, they are in place so that you can see a person as a whole.  When you are too close, there is just the eyes, or just the lips or just the legs and ass.  When you can see a whole person as a being as worthy as you are of full love, then the possibility of a fulfilling and lasting relationship is present.

Those are my thoughts.  Men and women alike must understand that there is no battle of the sexes, but rather a communion between the sexes.
 

They say Opposites attract.  And isnt it true that when you meet someone who is your exact opposite it helps you to define who you are even more?  The very core root of the word opposite is oppose-a word that carries a very negative connotation.  Bringing to mind the idea of the enemy and the "other".

But those are just ideas. The truth is that we seek the opposite to define ourselves, making that opposite as important as ourselves.

I have fought against men all my life.  Trying to prove to them and perhaps myself that I exist as a powerful and commendable being.  Trying to insist that I deserve as much respect and love for being a woman that they do for being a man.  But I realize now that in that fight to prove myself, I missed the very important fact that whether I change their minds or not about my worth, my worth doesnt change.  I am still priceless.  I lost sight of the important idea that no matter what happens, no matter what anyone else believes, I am what and who I am, and therefore worthy.  And I am a woman, not opposed to a man, but in communion with man.  In awe of mans ability to reflect back to me, myself.  In awe of their power to give me power, and to take the power I give to them.  It is that idea that I want to impress upon those who have the ability to start to change the way the sexes relate to eachother. (which is you and me)

When every one on the planet can see themselves and others as valuable, but not as possessions, and not as means to an end, and not as an opposition (and this applies to relationships between men and men and between women and women and between men and women)   then perhaps we can, as the Human Race, begin to understand the teachings that are so abundant in all our religions.  That love doesnt have boundaries.  That you are worthy of knowing that love and capable of giving it without the fear of dissolution. That there is no need for pain in order to understand and experience pleasure.

That together, men and women can reach the higher plane of existance, and experience heaven on earth.  And that they are both worthy-no matter what dark corners are hidden in their pasts.