Help
Sign In
love
August 2008 
I dont want to be the cure
Posted on Feb 10th, 2007
by 
Stella Luna
Stella Luna
I dont want to be the cure
left behind when health has returned
I dont want to let this fade
when love is something you can burn
I know you love with all thats left of your heart
and when its all together I might be left in the cold
but I dont want to be just the cure
I want to be your love
I know this heart of yours is battered and bruised
and I know the course I've chosen is in your metamorphosis
but I don't want to just be a part of this
cause it will leave me injured
And I want to be the woman you choose
for the rest of your life
the woman you make yours
until the end of time
and I want to be all those things that she wasn't
because I know I can fill the need the way she refused
but I don't just want to be the cure
the antidote to the poison she injected
I don't want to be what you leave behind
when the hospital bed becomes an old habit.
Please. Don't let me just be the cure
Let me be the heart that you've given
let me be the love that God has given
let me be the life that you're livin
please
don't let me be just the cure.
Access: Public
Amen, sista. Can’t tell how much your blogs have been resonating with me. My question (cause you know I always have questions) is how do you “be there” for someone without enabling them. Its clear you know that being the cure is not what he needs. He needs your love and support but not for you to “fix” anything. This takes a lot of patience. Not too long ago I had a boyfriend who tried to “take care” of me whenever things got hard for me. It didn’t feel like support at all. It felt like he didn’t have faith in me that I was strong enough to figure it out and work through it. He would just tell me what to do and how to handle things. Ughh this is an extreme example. But anyway it can be hard to be on either side. And more recently I’ve been on the other side, wanting to bring aide to the wounded. I’ve had to fight the urge to tell him what I think he should do. Cause really its not about me.
It seems so common that when we find someone, one of us is wounded. I’m waiting for the day when I find a man who feels healed, emotionally healthy and sometimes fear I might be waiting a long time. Maybe its unrealistic of me to expect this.
Take care of yourself. You are beautiful and strong and wise. You and he both have lessons to learn and what’s meant to be is meant to be.
Love, Nicole
Thank you so much, Nicole. I don’t think that Im enabling, but its possible. Im probably going to write this to you and know that I need to follow my own advice…
God, space. And Time are the three things that heal physical wounds. God to help see the innocence in the injury (so anger dissipates) Space away from that what causes the injury and time that allows the body to do what it needs to do in order to heal. There is no if, just a matter of when, and Im good at this whole thing. Im good at being the rock, the nurse.. Im good at being that person that says “This is going to get better, and the pain will go away…and you’ll work through this, and Im here, if you need a reminder about how friggin awesome you are (Yeah, you’re friggin awesome)”.
How do you enable someone? by allowing them to take their injury out on you..
I think this is the first time in my life that I have entered into some thing when I wasnt injured. In fact, I am my full self, just a couple of scars that I think are pretty now that time has passed. Ill write more later…I have to go now. =)
I take that back, Im still effected by injuries of the past, and act in a way that reveals those past scars over and over again. But Im not giving up on healing…I look at emotional health as something more like growth. And as far as enabling goes, perhaps that is stopping growth in a person, enabling them to stagnate…and even then, in time they or you will require and desire that growth that has been denied.
I suppose the easy answer to your question is that you dont “do it” for them. You are there encouraging them to continue to grow, encouraging them that they can do it themselves.
The easiest example of this relationship is between a parent and child. If the parent never allows a child to fall down, never allows that child to get hurt then the child is fearless and doesnt know the effects of the fall, so emotionally cant grow.
If a child falls down and the parent tells them they cant get up by themselves, they cant do anything by themselves, they grow up dependant, not because they cant get up, but merely because they may believe they cant.
We are all teachers in eachothers lives, constantly causing growth and new levels of awareness….I dont know…how do you enable someone…Im going to have to think more on this? any comments so far?
maybe you can find rest in the fact that you don’t have to be the cure or the cause because God is. and each individual can choose to be with God or be without, be alone. if you love, really love, if you let that light shine through, you aren’t enabling anything. i don’t think. and. sometimes loving is letting go. for the purpose of letting grow. both yourself and another.
Your wisdom is welcomed. Thank you, darling. You are right. Love for the sake of loving…I lost my perspective for a moment. Thank God for people who can help me remember. In process. Peace and calm…Light and love. Fear is the enemy of love. =)